Getting lost in Kmart.

WALT plan our recount. We want to focus on a moment in time that will be interesting for our readers.

To be successful we will:

• Think of a time in the holidays that was funny, scary, a bit embarrassing, exciting
• Plan the intro, main events, time words and reflection.

I think I was successful because I was able to put punctuation in the right place and I was able to reply to comments that helped me improve in my writing.

Next time I will try add similes to get a higher mark in writing.

Getting Lost in Kmart

In the holidays my family and I went to Whangarei. We went to Kmart. That is one of our favourite places to go to. First when we got in there my brothers and I went to look at the toys. Tristan and I looked at the remote control cars and other remote control toys. Tristan liked the remote control toys I didn’t like them as much as him. Next Hilton went to mum and dad and Tristan and I were still looking at the toys and then we went to look at the balls. Then Tristan and I went to look for them but we lost them.

Tristan and I just kept trying to find them. After that we went near the toys. I said to Tristan “,Should we split up we won’t lose each other if I go straight and you can go around,” then he said “OK,” so I went straight ahead and Tristan went around. Then I went to the middle and I thought I lost him but he just came. Then we went looking around again and we stayed together. After that I said, “Is that mum?” but when she turned around it wasn’t her.

So I said to Tristan ,“I thought I saw her but it was just someone else”. We kept looking. Tristan said ,“What if they were at the changing room” I replied “Maybe” so we were going to look near the changing room. We finally found them. Then Hilton said ,“We were trying to find you two” we both replied,“We were trying to look for you as well”

This is my holiday recount. I have tried to proof read my own writing.

My uncles funral

First my family and I were getting our things ready and we put them in the boot of the car. Then we got into the car and drove all the way to Auckland. It was a very long drive. A while later we got there we went to the funeral. It was a pretty long time but sad as well. When it finished I was excited because we were going to a motel. It was very cool because our uncle was next door. We had keys with a number on them. The number was the same as the number at the top of the door.  We even had free milk even though we already had some.  We would always go next door to visit our other uncle. A while later we played on our tablets. We played a game called Minecraft. When mine and Tristan's tablets went flat then we put them down and I said ,“Hey Tristan and Hilton should we play hide and go seek,” Then Tristan replied”OK then” So we played hide and go seek. Another while later we went next door again but this time we watched tv. We were watching

Batman vs Superman. It  was pretty boring. Then our uncle went to sleep. So we started to go back. We went back next door again and we all started to go to sleep it was hard for me to sleep but I did.  It was awesome.